About Me
MY STORY
By Mary Louise King
My story is about how I found JOY for myself and the various ways I teach others how to find it. It is about how I found the path of grace, but it wasn’t easy. Before I was able to do that, I let the words and actions of other people, including those to whom I was closest, influence me. I felt bad about myself, even to the extent of experiencing physical pain. It took me years to emotionally learn to “be kind to MaryLouise” and accept loss.
There were so many lessons in my life, and my story is much about how I navigated the difficult parts.
Acknowledging the emotions of stress when I was feeling bad about myself (rather than suppressing those emotions) and letting them go by trusting in God’s love for me and getting on the joy circuit was paramount to living a grateful/graceful life.
By resting and thinking beautiful thoughts, I came to believe that the overall plan for my life has always been intended to be for my highest good as well as for the highest good for all concerned.
For me, there are two types of brain circuits: joy and stress. My earned reward for moving past stress symptoms and instead running the JOY circuit was knowing that even if everyone rejected me, I have myself and I am loved by God.
This truth warmed my heart, promoted integrity, and gave me a wealth of compassion to send outward, similar to how a beacon of light can alight another and another. I believe I am creating loving-kindness and compassion in the world by creating those emotions in myself.
If you try it for yourself, I think you’ll feel a sense of warmth in yourself. Stress seems to disappear and problems vanish when you find the JOY circuit in your brain and then acknowledge and believe that this pathway is connected to your heart.
Personally, I feel peace and boundless pleasure, and I know I am abundantly blessed when I am dwelling in the JOY circuit that connects my brain and heart. I am very thankful that I discovered this pathway exists and that I can know it spiritually, which then affects my whole life experience physically and emotionally.
The emotional wealth of JOY is contagious. It’s warm and compassionate and my vision is to be a blessing, knowing God will use my life to help others become stronger.
Hopefully, my story will be a blessing to anyone and all that may read it. The various characters that have played a part in my emotional growth have all been a blessing to my life. I can step back and see my life from a larger perspective now that I’m in my 70s.
Part of my journey has involved learning to engage the right side of my brain where play and the present moment is as well as where spirituality and beauty is experienced, instead of always letting the analytical left side of my brain take control.
And, very importantly, although this is my story, it’s not all about me. It’s my journey with God and how I trusted a much bigger plan than my ego could control. I stopped giving my power to the problems and instead focused on how many moments of JOY and delight I experienced each day.
I have been transformed from being an ugly duckling that did not fit well in her family into a beautiful swan, but I didn’t do it just once. Instead, I had to relearn these lessons over and over.
If that seems like a lot, it is. But I hope that, by sharing my story, I can help you and others overcome similar challenges and find the path of grace.
My path has led me to adopt this motto for my life: Lovely, light living – finding JOY in movement. Your path might lead you to a different philosophy, but I hope you can gain some insights that inspire, comfort, and reassure you as you dream and ponder your life. My hope is that you learn to love yourself and others throughout your journey here on earth, using movement to assist you in finding the JOY life has to offer.
A good place to start is with the "Innerviews" column the late Sandy Wells wrote for the Charleston Gazette. Here is part of what she wrote after interviewing me:
She’s a personal trainer. She teaches yoga and Pilates and leads an exercise class for seniors. And she dances whenever and wherever she can.
She radiates health, verve and confidence. A caring nature reflects inner serenity. She doesn’t look even close to her age.
She wasn’t always like this.
Mary Louise King remembers a withdrawn, awkward little girl mocked for her silver tooth and the disorder that gave her an odd, clumsy gait.
She describes herself as the poetic ugly duckling who blossomed into a graceful swan, a transformation she embraces as the defining theme of her life.
The journey wasn’t easy. Her mother’s encouragement meant everything. Yoga, Pilates and dancing strengthened her legs and released her from the agonizing repercussions of a herniated disc. Later, a diagnosis of psychosomatic hip pain led to counseling and introspection and a healing way of thinking.
Now the vibrant survivor shares her hard-got knowledge as she helps others stay mentally and physically fit.
Dancing fuels her soul.
Sandy Wells was a delightful interviewer. I had fun sharing my story with her, recalling my past and being appreciative of each event in my life as a gift, even though some came in disguise. She did well in encapsulating my story, but I have much more to tell.
The Early Years
I grew up in Irwin, Pennsylvania. I was very blessed to have a mom who was happy and full of energy – always ready and excited to do something.
My mom was very supportive and seemed always to know what to do or say to encourage me. I needed such reassurance because I was born somewhat handicapped with my toes and knees turned in. This disorder gave me an odd, clumsy gait. Because I felt so awkward, those feelings permeated other areas of my life. Feeling klutzy, it seemed like I had butterfingers. I spilled my milk at the table and was uncoordinated in many ways. I certainly was not graceful.
I was also very withdrawn and reluctant to speak for fear I would say something wrong. Making matters worse, when I was in second grade, I received a blow to my face that chipped my front tooth. It was crowned with a silver cap to preserve it until I grew older to allow the tooth to grow fully. At that time, none of the other kids around me had silver in their mouths, not even braces, so I stood out with silver on one of my central incisors. Others made fun of me, so I didn’t want to smile.
At the same time, I suffered from the type of parental discipline that was all too common in the 1950s and early 1960s. It included coercion and intimidation, using the fear of punishment to make children anxious and afraid of getting out of line, not knowing how to defend themselves. That’s the way it affected me. It mainly came from my dad, accompanied by threats, yelling and physical harm. Once, I became afraid of him and ran out of the house. He chased me around the neighborhood with a broom. When he tired of the chase, he said, “You’ll have to come home sometime, and you’ll be sorry you did this.” My dad could be very kind and thoughtful, but when he was angry or drunk, he was harsh towards me.
Life seemed confusing to me, but I eventually discovered how to learn from my experiences and treat them as gifts. The good news is I learned not to discipline my children in such an out-of-control manner. It helped me develop kindness and empathy for those who made mistakes. Real love does not disappear when things get tense.
When I was eight years old, my maternal grandma helped me to understand that my purpose in life is to love and bless others. Grandma read me Bible stories. She was so beautiful in her belief that God loved her and He cared about what she went through in life. I wanted that same spirit and light that she had. She helped me to believe in God’s love for me and the same Christ Spark in her heart ignited in my heart.
Although I couldn’t see any changes in me at the time, I did feel much lighter. I felt more gentle, kind, and patient. I couldn’t see joy in my circumstances, but this was the first time in my life that I understood faith. I began to grasp the concept that the loving hand of God had been continuously arranging the affairs of my life for my highest good and that there was some great purpose behind it all. Discomfort was meant to propel me forward in love with confidence and faith, having full trust and even joyful expectation that God was with me. I remember silently thinking, “God is blessing me and I am blessing you.”
Dad would say, “Who do you think you are, God‘s gift to the world?” Quietly, in my heart, I said, “I am.” It was at that time that I let something shift inside me and started to believe that life works from the inside out. I started to train myself to be in contact with my feelings, so I’d be aware when I was out of sorts, feeling fearful. In a childlike way, I switched inside from striving to try to change my life and the lives of others, to believing that my circumstances would improve as my faith grew.
Grandma described faith as joyful expectancy. The seeds of considering myself as an “individualist” rather than a “misfit” started to grow ever so slowly. At first, there was little evidence that I was growing to be strong in whom I was created to be. The spark was there inside me, but it was immature. At this tender young age, I believed that I could grow in character to be a blessing in my own life, as well as a blessing to others, simply by knowing God‘s love. I learned to trust God even when I couldn’t see any lovely results. I clung to God‘s love through all the failures I had. God loved me, even though I was clumsy, ridiculed, and yelled at.
In sixth grade, an accident in class delivered another blow to my confidence. During that school year of 1965-1966, the Norwin school district consolidated all the sixth graders with about 600 of us in just one building. As that school year neared an end, all of us had to take an important test that would determine our ranking in junior high. As I took the test, I urgently needed to go to the restroom, but the teacher would not excuse me. Back then, all of us girls wore dresses. I was unable to wait until the end of the period, so pee ran down my legs and onto the floor. When I returned to school, the other kids sang songs such as “Row, row, row your boat, gently down the pee.” They incorporated my name into the songs. Even my friends were embarrassed, and they excluded me from their social group.
Females start to bully other females in junior high. They do this by not allowing another girl into their group. They gossip about her and try to make her feel like an outcast. When it happened to me, I felt shunned, rejected, and worthless – thrown out like a piece of garbage that was trashed after no longer being useful.
However, what might have seemed like a misfortune was, in reality, a blessing, redirecting the course of my life to an unanticipated treasure. I set out on a new path, an adventure to find new friends. I learned to appreciate diversity as I sought friends who were different from me. As I opened my heart, I discovered my new friends accepted me as I was, and I enjoyed spending time with them. I learned it was a waste of time to try to get my original friends to accept me, and I didn’t need to be in the popular group at school. It was better to be with those who appreciated me.
But being excluded from the popular group had its problems. The following year, my class was divided into two different schools for the junior high years of seventh through ninth. Early in seventh grade, a bunch of guys started to bully me during school hours. One day after school, one of them grabbed me and pushed me into a bush while the others laughed.
Having odd accidents, looking different because of my silver tooth, and being ostracized by some kids, made me feel lonely. I searched for a place where I could fit in. I didn’t realize it at the time, but history is filled with outcasts who are forced to proceed in different directions than they originally thought was right for them. It wasn’t easy, but I had to learn how to reframe the picture of my life by elevating my perspective to how God might be seeing all of this. I developed a readiness to embark on new ventures, not afraid of new situations and meeting new people. I also had to rediscover some old lessons.
My Mom's Encouragement
I give much credit to my mom for my progress towards becoming mature. She was my encourager. Mom taught me to “think something nice about Mary Louise.” Mom would talk about having “quiet confidence,” helping me to remember that God’s grace is at work, bringing about my desires in better ways than I could imagine. When I was a young girl, she put me into dance class, so I would strengthen my legs. However, I was the most uncoordinated kid in the class. Other girls did not want to partner with me because they couldn’t count on me to remember the steps and perform them well. The more I tried to reduce my anxiety and to control myself and the situation I was in, the clumsier I got. Mom suggested that I should not try so hard. She said the other girls would like me better if I was friendly and liked myself. That lesson became useful later in my life as new doors opened and I was exposed to new and different people. My struggles to accept myself helped me realize how other people felt when they were unsure of themselves. In a very immature way, I was learning that if I was feeling tension from trying too hard, I was not being true to myself. The key was to relax and play and be my authentic, true self.
Mom would often say, “Pretty is as pretty does.” The character qualities she emphasized as “pretty” were gratitude and grace. In addition, Mom explained that resentment would grow if I didn’t look for what is good in every situation. She reminded me that God had designed a big plan for me and my life. She would say, “Let’s try to find something to be thankful for.” Mom taught me to accept life events, so that my life would blossom and not become a stinky mess. She promised me that, if I could forgive, resentment would be rooted out and replaced by peace and joy. I learned a healthy way of thinking – “Bloom where I am planted.” When I was under her care, all of life seemed like a gift, no matter how difficult it was. The seeds of how to live a brave and courageous life by simply being me were planted in my soul.
In essence, Mom gave me a vision that my difficulties would give birth to my greatest gifts if I let go of attitudes that were unhealthy for my growth. The gift I received somewhat later in my life was JOY. In return, it has been the greatest gift I've given to others.
Mom continually reminded me that beauty comes from inside me and is reflected outward. I kept growing in this area of my life, accepting this graceful truth into my heart. As I learned how to open my heart by trusting God to help me, grace outshined my silver tooth! I noticed that people saw the silver tooth first, but soon they could look past it to the true person who lived inside of me. Accepting my embarrassing moments gracefully helped me to know how to help someone else who was experiencing similar moments. I developed a caring nature.
Some new thinking patterns developed at this stage in my life: I let go of the belief that I had to be perfect to be a loving and kind person. I trusted God was at work bringing about beauty in all my circumstances. I saw life from a heart-centered perspective and it was such a relief to know that I didn’t have to figure out ways to impress others to gain their admiration. My purpose was to learn to love people as I loved myself.
I also learned not to be so afraid of what people said - or the songs they sang about me. I got through humiliation by laughing at myself and by laughing with the people laughing at me. Inward grace taught me to love myself "just as I am," and eventually inner JOY sprung forth and blossomed in my life from rightly responding to these experiences. The Grace of God has much to do with being grateful and seeing the lovely parts of life.
High School Years
Eventually, my body caught up with these inner transformations. Thankfully, my legs grew stronger, and I became more athletic. In tenth grade, I became a gymnast, a diver on the swim team, and a girls’ basketball player. During a basketball game, a girl charged into me and knocked out the front tooth that we had preserved all those years with the silver crown. Perhaps whatever I was supposed to learn about being different by having a silver cap on my tooth was accomplished. My mom saved her money and paid for me to get a permanent bridge in my mouth. It reminded me to smile and to remember God has a plan to use difficulties to create beauty when I respond with grace.
Feeling pretty, I developed more poise. I became a cheerleader during my junior and senior years of high school. I also was involved in many other activities, including choir. I was one of the dancers who performed in front of the choir. I wore many costumes and enjoyed being on stage.
I even ran for homecoming queen at my high school and Diamond Jubilee queen in my community, but I was not chosen. I served as my town's Easter bunny and dressed up for promotions for the Irwin businesses. My parents were involved in the business community after they opened their store, Interiors by Woleslagle, on March 11, 1970, when I was in tenth grade. Because of that, I also became very involved in activities to help Irwin’s business community.
I graduated high school in a class of 659 students in 1972. Only one that I knew of chose to attend the same university that I did.
College
I was the first person in my family ever to attend college. I went to West Virginia University with the intention of becoming a physical therapist and helping other handicapped children. The head of the WVU Biology department encouraged me to think higher and broader - to become a doctor - because of my high grades, but my dad discouraged this for fear I would get sued.
During my sophomore year, I changed my major to interior design because my mother needed help in her store. At that time, my mom was crying a lot because of my dad’s drinking.
I enjoyed being very active at WVU. I also was very kind and treated people the way I wanted to be treated. As a result, on November 8, 1975, during Mountaineer Week, I was honored to be selected as a semi-finalist for Ms Mountaineer. I was one of three girls out on the Mountaineer Field at halftime in the running for an honor bestowed on the girl (and guy) that served WVU the most. This award is based on embodying the ideals of WVU and given to a graduating senior with a strong record of academic achievement and extensive extracurricular involvement. I didn’t win, but it was an exciting ceremony during the most thrilling game of the football season. My parents were seated on the first row at the 50-yard-line for the game in which WVU beat its rival, the University of Pittsburgh, with a field goal in the last seconds of the game! We won 17-14, even though Pitt had the famous Tony Dorsett (who won the Heisman Trophy and led his team to a national championship one year later). As Mountaineer fans celebrated, I felt very good about how far I had come since my years of being the clumsy girl with the silver tooth. I got a glimpse of the wonderful story God was developing of my life. I could see that life is not about getting, it’s about giving.
My life made a full circle 34 years later, when my younger son, Caleb, was running for Mr. Mountaineer. Like me, he didn’t win, but he was a runner-up. This time, it was my son, his dad and me out on the football field at halftime. I enjoyed repeating a memorable moment of my past with a more mature perspective. My son and I were two small hearts in a big university who did what we could to help others succeed, and we were honored for our efforts.
Marriage and My Adult Years (24-49)
My mother had hoped I would use my degree in interior design to help her in the family’s store, but I got married soon after I graduated from WVU and moved to Charleston, West Virginia. I did use my degree while working at Boll Furniture, but that was only until my first son, Josh, was born.
Although I became a stay-at-home mom, I still did some interior design work on a freelance basis. I didn’t have my clients pay me money. Instead, I asked them to “pay it forward.” That meant that, after I used my talent to help them, they were to use their talents to help someone else.
The photo here shows me with my dad and mom, my maternal grandma and my two young sons.
During those years as a stay-at-home mom, I also served as a mentor to many young women. I taught young mothers’ groups what I had learned about “blooming where you are planted.” I told them we all have something to do right where we are. Finding my place in the community introduced me to many interesting people.
By being available, I was able to help a mom homeschool her daughter. I brought her daughter to my house every day to study.
Another mom was giving birth to her fourth child when her appendix broke! When her baby was five days old, I brought him to live at my house while his mother recuperated. I was his surrogate mom for the first month of his life until his mom felt well enough to come to my home for a while to get stronger.
Later, I became the best friend for eight years of an older gentleman, retired Major General Charles Ralph Fox. He had served during World War II and also as West Virginia’s adjutant general under two governors. He lived right up the road from me, and my sons cut his grass. After his wife died, he felt alone and depressed, so I kept him active by taking him everywhere with me. I enjoyed caring for him, but it became harder. As he entered his 90s, he started falling down a lot. My efforts to take care of him contributed to herniating a disc in my back, resulting in extreme pain in my left leg. I had to drag my left and lift it to move it forward. My calf muscle atrophied, and my foot was numb.
As an adult, I had to draw upon the grace and strength I had developed by going through my childhood difficulties of having weak legs and feet.
Overcoming a Herniated Disc- Ages 49-52
Instead of opting for surgery, I chose to try using yoga and Pilates to strengthen my legs. In the process, I became the youngest member of SilverSneakers® classes, in which the older adults helped me to get healthier through exercise. Over three years, I regained the use of my left leg. The kindness of those people inspired me to certify to teach yoga, Pilates and other fitness classes, including SilverSneakers®, which is a benefit of many Medicare Advantage plans, as a way to “pay it forward” for the help I received in my time of need.
Career Change - Age 52
In January 2007, I made another circle in my life by becoming nationally certified as a personal trainer. I had originally gone to WVU to become a physical therapist and to help other handicapped children, so by becoming a fitness instructor and personal trainer later in life, I returned to what I dreamed of doing for others when I was a young lady.
I am grateful that, having worked through the troubles in my life, I understand better how to be healthier mentally, physically and emotionally. As an older adult, I am better prepared to help others have more abundant lives.
I told Sandy Wells, “That’s what I do in my classes. I try to help people come out of themselves and look at themselves and smile at themselves. We need to be kinder to ourselves and show self-compassion.”
My group classes are open to anyone in our area, as well as to out-of-town visitors. We have a sense of connection as we help each other.
Because I had changed my career and had started to make money, I finished well with my dad. He died in 2009, but was finally satisfied that I was working and somewhat using the degree from college that he paid for.
Dad stopped drinking in 1983. Although I never knew which person he really was, kind or harsh, Dad taught me patience. I learned that I become what I focus upon and to look at good role models and study them rather than looking at what I thought was wrong in a person. This new perspective helped me tremendously in my life. After I had been kind and honoring to my dad all his life, he finally told me he loved me one month before he died. He reciprocated to my “I love you, Dad,” and said, “I love you, too.” Dad taught me that no matter what the conditions are, loving and blessing others will help in every situation.
My Divorce
During my marriage, I used what I learned with Dad about looking for the good and being honoring no matter how I was treated in return. My former husband would sometimes get angry at me and ask for a divorce. While we were married, he "loved" me because that was God's commandment, but he said he did not "like" me.
You may think this would be difficult for me to be married to someone who didn’t like me, and it was, until it wasn’t. This experience was my trainer for inner growth. I learned to rise above my circumstances and to become responsible for my own life. I got a purpose higher than my own happiness, which was to raise my sons to have the best possible life. I also wanted to give my husband joyful vibes from me, whether he accepted them or not. Mom would often say she didn’t want to hear what someone else did wrong. She constantly admonished me as a child to keep my eyes on myself and to be the best I could be.
I both loved and liked my husband. My life with him was so much better than the life I had before marriage. He did not smoke, drink or swear. He went to work every day. I admired his strength, and I provided the tenderness that he needed. I never lost hope in God's grace. We had our struggles, but I always loved my husband, and although I am not perfect, I did the best I could to express kindness, courtesy and affection to him, as well as to the children we conceived.
I will always be thankful for my marriage to him. He was present with us every evening. He took responsibility. He mowed the lawn and took the garbage out. He kept our lives running smoothly, attending to car details. He learned how to fix things. Because he was handy, his skills made life easier for all of us. He was the leader in loving service.
I was the family leader and teacher in love, tenderness, and courage. I was totally devoted to our children’s well-being. From the beginning, I was well aware of my purpose to produce eternal good. The last verse of Psalm 23 has always been the vision for my life and the life of my family: “Surely goodness and mercy will follow (me and my family) all the days of (my/our) (life/lives) and (I/we) will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
I trust that as my story unfolds, each person my life has touched will go on and build on that good, blowing away the chaff or useless parts.
Since this is my story, I will go on to tell how my life’s circumstances always developed a more loving character in me. My responses to the situation I found myself in also served to give everyone involved the highest and best opportunities for them to also grow to become more loving and accepting. As I look back, there were no mistakes, only lessons.
I was the creative one in our family. I added more beauty to my family’s world. I was the parent who laughed, and my joy was contagious. My wild, silly, sexy spirit was the beautiful energy of my family’s life. I emphasized appreciation as the vitamin of our lives and expectation as unhealthy to family life.
I used a visual tool, called a “star chart” to encourage and reinforce good behavior in our children. I awarded stick-on stars on a chart each time a desired behavior was exhibited. We made it a game to notice good and kind behavior in each other, calling attention to it. We cheered each other on.
I also had an “honor list” for each child as well as my husband. I made formal dates with each privately, often using the intimacy of lighted candles, to tell my husband and children how their lives were making a positive difference in my life and the people around them. By doing these simple routines, I knew that my life was making ripples, impacting my family in positive ways.
I have never been very good at punishing. The punishment I have received over the years only served to press me down and squeeze the life out of me, so I chose a different way.
My goals were to radiate health, verve, and confidence in a calm and interesting way and to have strength of character. My caring nature reflected inner serenity, but I was never boring. I paired peace and grace with sparkle and enthusiasm in our family life. My joy came from deep within and expressed itself in different facets of my personality.
These particular ways of responding to life started to be developed in a more lively way when I met my husband in college. He would sing the Paul Simon song, "I Am a Rock," as recorded by Simon & Garfunkel in 1966. He learned this song as a teenager, and I knew he sang it while we were dating because of the life he knew at his childhood home. I married him dreaming that I could be the love he needed to pull down the stone walls he had erected to protect himself from relationship pain. The song says, “I touch no one and no one touches me; A rock feels no pain; And an island never cries."
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately because of the lessons I learned, this song became his theme song he sang for our entire marriage. I did not want to ever cause him pain. I did not want to irritate him, embarrass him, or offend him in any way, but I did. I responded to his anger by trying to prove my love for my husband, but it seemed that the more I tried to show my husband that I loved him the less he liked me.
My husband said I was “patronizing” him, which means I was showing him affection because I wanted a gift in return and he did not want the gift nor want to be controlled in any way forcing him to give a gift.
At the time, I did not think my love was given in a reciprocal way or that it was some kind of a transaction, but looking back, I did express love to him wanting him to love me in return.
The song that described my feelings was, “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” originally sung by the Shirelles, written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin.
As time went on, I learned my life lesson again: not to try so hard, to trust in God's plan and relax. Faith does the work. I am given grace to move through this life with love. How it's all going to work out is God's plan.
Back then, I felt my “job” as a wife was to love my husband and to not try to control him or change him. I trusted God to work in his heart and had a vision for my husband to become a man after God’s own heart. I knew God loved me and was pleased with me, always raising me to my highest potential. I felt safe in God’s care and secure in his love. I was well aware of the fact that I was a channel for God’s love. It flowed through me to my husband, making my job as easy as expressing my talent. It was a gift, but some people find it difficult to accept gifts.
After many talks with God, I came to a definite, heartfelt conclusion that I could not fix my marriage. I could not make my husband like me. All my efforts were coming from a fearful heart. They were imperfect and failed to do what I was trying to do. My husband was "shielded in his armor” or maybe “indifferent” might describe how I felt he saw his relationship to me. There was very little response from him when I tried to communicate with him, until he eventually would blow up and not remember what he did or said.
I tried many approaches but nothing I did to remedy our situation worked.
I was trained that divorce is bad and I should stay in my marriage situation no matter what, but I could not. Instead, I took a risk and followed a higher plan. Being courageous and totally dependent on the Holy Spirit that lives within me and gives me inspiration and power to guide me, I released my marriage to God in hopes that God might use my faith to resurrect what was dead.
Once I saw a pair of geese in the same situation. Geese mate for life, but one of the pair had died. The other one stayed with her mate, confused as to why he was not responding. She stayed until she could stay no longer. I watched as she got anxious, perceiving danger, and feeling lonely. Her loyalty was strong, but eventually, she had to fly away.
I felt like that goose when I knew that there was not any life left in my marriage. I didn’t fly away on my own. I was lifted up by God’s grace to soar high above my circumstances so I could see them from a much higher perspective. I could not do any good by staying, but if God would raise my husband up to fly again, I would introduce him to all the new adventures and ideas I gained by flying.
Taking a risk to fly higher is not for everyone and staying where we are comfortable because it’s familiar is chosen by many. I did not know what hardships I would face by flying higher, but the call was strong. I followed the plan that God had placed on my heart.
As you know from reading my story, my life has been full of getting to know God personally and learning how to have faith in God as He worked in my thoughts. Previously, so many times, God had transformed my life by helping me to “Let go,” embracing a new phase of my life. This time in my life was no different. I trusted God to lead and guide me. I trusted God was working things out for the highest and best of all concerned.
Looking at my life from an overall perspective, I can see that a recurring theme of my life has been walking in Grace, grateful for what I have, and open to new possibilities that are being made available to me. My divorce was another time that the poetic ugly duckling blossomed into a beautiful swan by learning to fly higher than my circumstances.
Letting go of my mate and my marriage took courage. I was reminded in a very deep and intimate way that my purpose was to find joy in movement. Staying the same was not giving either of us zest and vitality.
I hope my story will help someone else that is walking the path of grace. Only God can make a heart come alive. Deep within my soul I felt my presence hampered any rebirth in my husband's love within his heart. I let my husband go, so that God could handle him with His love, and my misunderstood loving hands would stop hindering any growth that might happen.
Oh, how difficult this was for me because I always pictured myself as a great lover, always thinking of what kind of nice things I could say or do, but that kind of love is not what encourages everyone. Sometimes, it is expected but not actually noticed or appreciated. By embracing what I could not change, I freed myself to find new opportunities to grow and to develop my character.
A wise man once said: You’ll be alone in the most difficult times of your life. These times will make you wise, mature, and fearless. They will strip away every illusion and show you who truly matters. You’ll learn to be your own strength when no one shows up. In silence, you’ll meet the strongest version of yourself. Pain will become your greatest teacher, and growth will become your quiet reward. One day, you’ll look back and realize solitude was a blessing in disguise.
Looking back, I think staying married over all those years was probably the most courageous thing I’ve ever done. We were married a long time, but no matter how hard I tried, I was not able to get my husband to like me. Certainly my life commitment to him did not bring out the best in him. It took bravery on my part to separate myself so he would have the opportunity to grow as a grandfather and dad without my presence hindering his growth in compassion.
I filed for divorce in April 2014 after 36 years of being married and 3 years engaged. We were almost 60 years old. Our sons were grown and safe. I hoped that they could get to know their dad as a kind person if he didn’t have the animosity he held against me. I knew deep down that divorce and separation would open doors for God to work on our behalf, but I didn’t go through with the divorce at this time. I asked my lawyer to rescind the papers she had filed because my then-husband requested that we try to reconcile by doing more interesting activities together. We chose ballroom dancing. I went to weekly lessons, but he attended only a few before he dropped out.
As I said in my interview with Sandy Wells, “I got into ballroom dancing to try to reconnect with my husband. It didn’t work. He wouldn’t go to the lessons. I took private lessons for five months. When I danced, I forgot all about my problems. My legs got stronger, and I became lighter on my feet.”
One year after first filing for a divorce, I filed again. During that year, my anxiety grew. The more I tried to pull my former husband closer, the more he resisted. The good news is I re-learned a valuable lesson I learned when I was younger and being bullied: there’s no need to convince anyone of anything. Trying to do so is a disadvantage because it is motivated by fear, and fear carries its own seed of destruction. Once again, I tried too hard to make the right impression with my husband, and when I could not, I felt great anxiety, which indicated that my mind was tuning into fearful, rather than faithful, thoughts. It’s no wonder then that my efforts were not perceived as loving.
I have found that this quote from Frida Kahlo is true: “In the end, I believe we don’t need to do anything to be loved. We spend our lives, trying to seem prettier, smarter. But I’ve realized two things: those who love us see us with their hearts and attribute qualities to us beyond what we really have. And those who don’t want to love us, will never be satisfied with all our efforts. Our imperfections are not flaws, they are the key to recognizing those who truly love us.”
I had many stomachaches over the course of my marriage and they grew worse the year after I first filed for divorce. When I was around my husband, I felt great uncertainty about who I was. Was I a failure as a wife and mother? And would he and my family be better off without me? I believed God loved me and was orchestrating all my life events, but maybe I didn’t belong in that symphony. Could my music cause disharmony there, but fit in perfectly in some other symphony?
One big problem I had in my marriage was that my husband didn’t want me to “show” myself, doing anything to call attention to myself, which irritated him as well as embarrassed him. He asked me for a divorce several times. As the years went on, he eventually stopped looking at me and became indifferent towards me. I tried to get his attention by pleasing him and was so afraid that I’d be discarded from the family that I was willing to be someone I was not. This lack of authenticity affected the impact my life had and made me feel anxious. I was a failure at being myself.
A pattern in my life before my divorce was having the fear of abandonment and then being granted faith as God would send an unusual friend to tell me that my life matters. Many other women gave me the vision that I was needed in my family for the well-being of my sons. From all these life experiences, I firmly believe that sometimes God sends people “in the flesh” who are a form of Jesus's love to rescue or save us with their presence.
Proceeding with the divorce was hard because my former husband told me he would end our friendship of 40 years which was comprised of 37 years married and three years engaged. He said he would not only abandon me, but he would make it difficult for me to visit our sons and grandchildren. I would never be allowed to visit my family when he was present.
However, I was able to hold onto an unshakable faith in God. I filed for divorce as a way of being willing to surrender my limited perspectives and exchange my thoughts and feelings for the faith that problems can be miraculously solved.
And even though I knew divorce was going to cause more pain, I knew it was the right choice for me because it symbolized getting the problem out of my hands and into God’s hands.
Divorce represented my willingness to let go and let God do it. I trusted God to make the adjustments needed. I accepted my situation by not resigning to disappointment but by anticipating greater good for both of us. Through God’s help, I planted a seed of faith. I know not all seeds sprout and grow, but if our love for each other was to grow, God would be the one to make that happen. I released my worries and anxieties from my conscious mind and allowed my subconscious and the Holy Spirit to work on it.
At that time, letting go helped me to see the good rather than being overwhelmed by the seemingly negative. And putting my faith in God, rather than my limiting concerns, inspired optimism in me.
I didn’t leave to find happiness – I left to give my husband space to be present and to find his heart. I did not fight. I trusted God‘s grace to win.
As I have said, I have long identified with the story of the ugly duckling that became a swan. Only recently have I learned about two quotations about swans that ring especially true for me. The first is from Hans Christian Andersen‘s story about the ugly duckling:
“To be born in a duck‘s nest, in a farmyard, is of no consequence to a bird, if it is hatched from a swan’s egg. True beauty is measured by the number of pearls within you, not those around your neck.”
I do wear pearls around my neck every day to remind me that God is making something beautiful out of all the irritants and difficulties in my life, but I hope others will see that I also have many pearls within me.
The second quotation comes from an unknown author:
“Be like a swan, paddling madly underneath the water but appearing so graceful and elegant on the surface. Do not let things get to you and thus fine a place of peace.”
It can be hard at times to appear graceful and elegant on the surface, but I always strive to do that while finding a place of peace.
Post-Divorce Pain
It’s been more than 10 years since our divorce. My former husband has not talked to me and I have not been invited to family events that involved his presence. From a bigger perspective, we are all still connected at the heart level.
I’ve gone on to discover that I am enough, and I am worthy of love. The whole new discovery of what having a single life as an older adult was going to be like required that I develop more self-compassion. The thoughts that helped me the most are: I am a blessing to myself and I am a blessing to others. These were younger thoughts I had, and they developed more maturity as I adjusted and my life morphed into the new life I have been given.
The people I’ve been able to bless are different than those my life touched as a younger woman, but I’m happy to say that I’ve been where I’m supposed to be by God’s grace and guidance. If the same people were supposed to be in my life, they would have been there.
Telling this part of my story starts at a few months after my divorce. Life became very painful, but also very lovely because of what I eventually learned. So here is my story
about post-divorce pain and how God helped me to stay alive and to trust Him for the outcome.
Shortly after our divorce was finalized, I realized that my former husband spoke truthfully about not allowing me to spend time with my sons and grandchildren when he was visiting them. On our first Thanksgiving after our divorce, I was not allowed to talk to my grandchildren on the phone because he was present. My eyes were opened to see my life was going to be much different. I became worried about my relationship with my sons and about the financial concerns that single women sometimes have.
Not wanting to focus on these worries, I repressed a lot of emotions, such as anxiety, fear, and anger, that I should have allowed to come out and be noticed for what they were. Things I couldn’t change were bothering me subconsciously.
I didn’t know how I could support myself. I became a part of the “working poor.” I had only low-paying jobs.
I felt overwhelmed. I forgot what I had learned earlier in my life about how to let go of the pain and move along in life. I didn’t make space in my heart to be with whatever feelings or memories that were being stirred up, so therefore I didn’t trust God was at work in the process. Negative thoughts kept running like loops in my brain. The ugly duckling’s search for personal identity I had when I was little returned. My sense of belonging was thwarted. I suffered from a sense of loneliness because I was so attached to being the best I could be in my roles of wife, mother, and grandmother.
Five months after my divorce, I woke up one morning with a pain in my right hip that wouldn’t go away. It got worse. My doctor put me on pain pills for a day. Instead of dancing and teaching and doing what I love to do, I rested, which was the worst thing I could’ve done because it gave me time to compulsively think about how lonely I felt.
The next morning, the pain was so great that I passed out. My face turned red, and I had convulsions. A friend called an ambulance, which took me to the hospital. Brain-wave tests, a cardiac test and x-rays found nothing physically wrong with me.
I spoke about how I dealt with these problems on April 20, 2022, as part of the “Three Things” program of speakers held by FestivALL in Charleston, West Virginia, in which each speaker addresses three topics: “My First, My Favorite, My Future.” On April 7, 2024, I put a video of my speech on YouTube. Here is the link: https://youtu.be/TT8pMXXKljk.
Could It Be Psychosomatic Pain?
I asked myself this question: How could this severe pain show up for no reason? My neurologists at the hospital suggested that it could result from emotional pain that I had repressed.
I opened to this new possibility by asking myself, “Could it be psychosomatic pain?” I went to my pastor and Kanawha Pastoral Counseling Center for counseling to explore the possibility. I also turned to a book that I had read earlier in my life by the late Dr. John Sarno: “Healing Back Pain, The Mind-Body Connection.”
According to Sarno’s theory, my subconscious was trying to hide the source of my pain because it thought my emotional pain was too much for me to bear. Was my subconscious distracting me from psychological pain by depleting my muscles of oxygen, causing physical pain?
Those grievous feelings of being like the goose that flew away from her dead mate surfaced. My marriage was dead, and most of what seemed important to me in my past roles had changed. I comforted myself with beliefs I have: The only constant in the universe is change, and nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. I wondered who I am supposed to meet, or help, while I’m in this change? What wonderful thing is going to come of all of this?
As always, I found encouragement in the story of Jesus. He had some family issues, even though he had a loving mother. His brothers initially criticized him and considered him an embarrassment. His purpose was to love the world and He trusted God to work out all the details. This calling didn’t result in family love. Jesus was rejected, even though he was motivated by love, but Jesus lived by choice, not self-protection, so he did not fear and fret over this abandonment by his family. He went on with his life and made new friends. These new friends were also persecuted. And as we know, Jesus was crucified. Jesus suffered much physical pain, but that was not the end of his story. His life is a blessing to the whole world.
I want my life to be a blessing, too. By considering Jesus’s story, I concluded that I could continue to abandon myself to the miracle-working power of God’s love in my situation.
By believing in God’s love for me and the whole universe, I am doing my part in being a blessing. My prayer is: Divine Love living through me, go before me. Smooth out all the bumps. Restore peace and magnify joy. Whatever it is, I know You are solving it. From this heart-centered place, help me to gaze softly with the eyes of my heart. I want to explore all the shapes, colors, contours, and symbols of these moments and be present in the details. What are you calling to me, God? Help me to use this visual image of my life as a text for prayer. Help me see things from a new perspective. I relinquish my usual ways of relating to my world. I am receptive for your will rather than grasping after the things I desire.
Just Keep Walking and Dreaming and Letting Go
This soft and gentle perspective helped me tremendously when I experienced bullying again after my divorce. A person I admired said I needed to be punished with church discipline for getting a divorce when there was no infidelity. I was not welcome in that person’s circle anymore. I rested in Jesus’s example and gracefully bowed out of this circle of people. And just as it was in junior high, I found new and interesting people to share my journey with.
From my divorce experience, I have learned to notice my feelings. I realize that, whenever I worry that I might not get something important or that I might lose something that I already have, these feelings indicate that I’ve lost my faith in God. I’ve lost my joyful expectancy. Instead of having ill-feeling thoughts, I can replace them with something better. I can make a course correction and take a break from finding fault. Instead of worrying about what I don’t want to happen, I can imagine what I would love to happen.
My counselor said that guilt, shame, and other painful emotions could be resolved little by little during my dream time as I let go of them every night before bed. He taught me to unplug the energy I was giving to these painful emotions. He encouraged me to sleep because God could use sleep to transform my thoughts into something beautiful. This process would happen over time, just as an oyster coats an irritant or difficulty with nacre, making a pearl. I was to be compassionate to myself because whatever I think upon will grow. He asked me to occupy my mind with love, so love would be magnified in my life.
I could say much more about my psychosomatic pain and how I overcame it. I have put many of those thoughts into my blogs, so please read them if you are interested.
Move a Muscle. Change an Emotion.
I believe God guided me to concentrate on movement and socialization as I became healthier following my divorce. Movement and socialization improved my life. As I changed, the people around me changed, and my circumstances improved.
In this process of healing, I practiced letting go of the anticipation of what I thought should happen, and instead I followed the simple divine guidelines of movement and socialization. These two words became my focus.
I enjoyed the present moment, while I also trusted God to work on how my life was becoming a harmonious song that would uplift and inspire the people I came in contact with.
I cast my burdens on God and released the significance I had placed on those thoughts so that I could become light-hearted. I visualized myself with open hands, giving love to my family and my community. The outcome I received was better than I had hoped for.
The best form of movement was anything that felt like play. I allowed joy to be my compass. I resumed doing whatever was in front of me to do with a little bounce in my step. I said “yes” to life, and my life expanded. New opportunities for socialization showed up and I walked through those open doors.
I believe God prearranged for me to have a whole new group of dancing friends for socialization after my divorce. When I began to attend group lessons, I met Jim Wallace, who became my regular partner and close friend. I discovered that the movement of dance transformed everything for me for the better. I did not want to complain about my divorce or what caused it because that seemed like focusing on what I didn’t want. I adjusted my sails and steered towards what made me feel happy. Dance helped me to step into life rather than shrink from it.
I lowered the bar for my friends and family. I started to understand in a very heartfelt way that unconditional love is not a transaction. There are no expectations. I don’t expect my friends or family to pay me back for the love I gave to them.
One of my nicknames my grandparents and my neighbors gave to me as a small child was “Little Miss Sunshine.” When I found the following quote from Wayne Dyer, I tucked it away in my heart as a treasure because I want to be like sunshine. He said, “Even after all this time, the sun never said to the earth: ‘you owe me.’ With love like that, it lights up the whole world.”
“Sunshine Love” has no conditions. Nothing can thwart it. There is great freedom in unconditional love. How nice it is for me to feel happy, knowing that each person in my family and former friends are free to live their lives without thinking they owe me something.
This commitment to unconditional love was mine before as well as after my divorce. It has been so freeing to me to know and deeply realize in my heart that I never could control someone to make them love me. People are free to love or to decide not to love. I chose to love.
I am very aware that there are lots of people here and now who can receive my love. The ones who disregard me or close their doors to me are not meant for me to interact with at this time in my life. I’ve learned to trust God’s timing. The end of the book of my life is not written yet, and the doors that have been closed to me may open again in subsequent chapters.
My mom’s words to me as a young dancer come to mind often: “Don’t try so hard, Mary Louise. The others will like you better if you just relax and have fun.” And I believe that, while I’m having fun and being creative, God is arranging things on my behalf. All I need to do is keep enjoying what I’m doing.
Life is not meant to be a struggle. I released the old, and I am renewed! Faith has empowered me to keep trusting in God’s goodness, regardless of the outcome.
Healing and Moving Forward
Nine months after my divorce, after my hip pain was gone, Jim Wallace and I performed two dances at the Bollywood fundraiser put on by the local Indian community. We performed Latin-style dance moves to a song from an Indian movie and to a Western pop song in front of about 900 people on a lighted stage at what then was the Charleston Civic Center. I was perfectly healthy again in body, mind and spirit. I had a wonderful time, dancing as if no one was watching. I felt great joy in being graceful like the swan I always wanted to be.
As I entered the Charleston dance community, I learned about and joined all seven of the local ballroom and Latin dance clubs, in addition to other clubs that specialize in shag, West Coast swing and salsa. I had not been aware of those dance opportunities before I started taking lessons from Craig Giffin, Julia McCormick and Steve Prowse. After their deaths, I got the vision of honoring them by continuing their work. I am carrying their baton. I opened my LLC, Charleston WV Dance, on December 13, 2016. It has allowed me to earn income while helping others find the joy of dance.
Other Dance Opportunities
Along with being a ballroom and Latin dance instructor, I continually update the Charleston WV Dance Facebook page I created to provide our dance community with a place on the internet to find what dances are being held in our area. It also informs out-of-town guests where they can dance when they visit our town.
I am so thankful that I found dance. Dancing fuels my soul. When I dance, it’s like a form of heaven on earth. It feels as though nothing, except freedom and lighthearted dancing, exists. It’s as if I am floating across the floor and using brain cells that fire only when I am being creative. I am transported to another world, full of grace and joy.
However, I want to emphasize that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful. We all must just take one step at a time on the path placed in front of us, knowing something wonderful, as well as mysterious, lies beyond.
All that’s left of my past is a blessing. Thank you, God, for everything. I have no complaints whatsoever. Each difficulty has steered me towards new opportunities.
Jim Wallace and I have become very well-known dancers in Charleston, WV. We participate in many community events. Aronfield Agency made a video of us telling how we met and how much we love the downtown event, ArtWalk. We are part of a city that has become a work of art:
A Secret
And since you’ve read this far in my story, I trust you enough to tell you a secret about another stage of increased growth in faith in my life. In 1982, I had a small “fender-bender” car accident. Two years later, my then-husband and I were sued. The lawsuit lasted three years, and by the end of the second year of the lawsuit, I was depressed and exhausted. I didn’t feel as though I had the strength to go on in life. I almost died by suicide because I felt the world would be better off without me. It was said that I “ruined” my husband‘s life, and it would have been better if we had never gotten married. I cost him money because I was a failure, and he had to pay for my incompetence. Deep down, I knew I was the best thing that ever happened to the King family and that we had been chosen for each other as partners in growth. I made a turning point towards joy as I remembered my belief: Everything that comes my way is heaven sent.
My friends helped me, and once again, I connected to God in a deep and personal way. I put into practice what my mom taught me earlier – to see life’s events with gratitude and to wait for the dark night of my soul to pass, forgiving always. I eventually found peace amidst what felt like being spun around and not knowing what direction to take. There is an eye in the center of a hurricane, a silver lining in every storm.
At the young age of 33, during the lawsuit, I learned how to be the center in the wheel of my family. After suffering for a while because I didn’t want the threats and fear that accompanied the lawsuit, I rose out of the stinky muck of my own thoughts and became the stable one in our family. In this vision I had of my life, my family members were like the spokes of the wheel. If I kept myself stable and connected to the axle – the source of power – everyone else was all right no matter how bumpy the ride.
The process I used to save my life from depression and provide a stable environment for my children involved discovering my “whole brain” and all that was built into it as resources I could use. Although my left brain could not even think positively, my right brain could sing songs. I started to “sing a new song unto the Lord.” In other words, I sang my prayers. I had discovered this earlier in my life – that a part of me could experience gratitude and joy amid difficulty. The new revelation was that it was the right side of my brain doing this for me.
After being able to rest through singing and gentle movement, the left side of my brain, the analytical side, developed a plan. I wrote out my prayer on an index card, which I put on a shelf in my kitchen that I named, “God’s Shelf.” Since the left brain is time oriented, I allowed myself only 15 to 30 minutes a day to look at this card and to pray for everyone involved to be joyful, happy and in love with themselves. Then, I would put the card away on God’s Shelf. I told my left brain that God was handling it, and I didn’t need to keep checking in on His ability to handle the situation. This basic plan worked!
Biblical guidelines of acceptance, surrender, submission, and “dying to self” helped me to dwell in the present moment where Grace was available. I found JOY there along with creative ideas. Instead of fighting and using my energy to destroy relationships, I rested and trusted God, using the spiritual power available as I let go and forgave and concentrated on being a blessing to my family. Gentleness and quiet confidence was definitely my strength.
It wasn’t as if I became apathetic about my situation. I wasn’t like a parked car. I continued to move forward, keeping centered on the axle and source of power available to me. The ideas of what to do daily seemed to come from an area of my brain associated with the present moment. Bravery, courage, gumption and enthusiasm seemed to arise and propel me and my family forward.
At the time of the lawsuit, I had only one young son. We looked for answers to questions such as: What do we like in our world? What good do we do as individuals and as a family? What can we be positive about? What are we grateful for?
One result of asking these questions was that, instead of thinking that the people who were suing us were “taking” money, we regarded it as “giving” them money.
At the same time in my life, I learned all animals “shake” when they feel threatened. We added movement to our days together. I added large physical movements to the mix of various songs that I was singing, and voila, I was dancing.
I have posted a video on how I overcame depression. I talked about some things I did to help myself. It was published on October 16, 2022. This is the link: https://youtu.be/httfFnOUzxA.
Lovely Light Living Concepts
I share comforting ideas on my Lovely Light Living YouTube channel. I’ve learned how to engage the right side of my brain and stay in the present moment. To me, this is the process involved in “Seeking First the Kingdom of God.” I found it on the right side of my brain! When I stay in the present moment, I can experience the peace that passes understanding, which gives me control over my story. I admire other people who are heroes and who stand in peace such as Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi. It is a vision, as well as goal of my life, to find the peace of God and to be the hero of my own story.
In 2021, I discovered why my method of using both sides of my brain worked. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD, addresses this type of thinking from a scientific perspective in her book, “Whole Brain Living: The Anatomy of Choice and the Four Characters That Drive Our Life.” She suggests using a “brain huddle,” which engages all parts of our brain. That was the same process that I learned by trial and error.
My brain huddles gave me the chance to ask all parts of my brain – “Is the belief I’m holding onto true?” and “How can I let go of this pain?” When I used every part of my brain, I had many more resources available to me. My brain huddles are what moved me forward.
I am grateful that, when I was a young lady, I learned to walk through time, thinking I was on a journey towards the peace of God, finding light on my pathway for each individual step. The terrain might have been difficult, but even as a child with a silver tooth, I learned how to find strength for the journey. I’ve made many transitions in my life as I walked with the “Grace of God.” Each test has strengthened me and blessed me with more JOY.
At first, it seems so painful to lose pieces of my life that seemed so important. When I asked God to give those people and circumstances that I cherished back, God said, “Let them go. If they are essential, you’ll get them back.” God assured me that they fell off for a reason. He wanted me to remember that I was not breaking down, I was breaking through; I was falling into the place where I needed to be for the highest good for all concerned. In my quiet time, I wrote down: Some pieces don’t fit anymore, MaryLouise, and you are shedding them so that you can grow into a transformed person, able to help many other people grow.
If you have experienced growing pains, you know how it hurts. And just like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon, we go through the pain of growth alone. It may initially look like we are developing into something broken and unusable, but God is there with us through every transformative step we take. Growth isn’t so much about change. It is about becoming who we are created to be. To me, this is how a person becomes full of light and love and hope and courage and joy and grace. This is how I broke through the darkness and became like the dawn, starting new days full of JOY and lovely, light living.
Now, no matter what daily troubles are going on outside, I can dance and make big movements with my body, the same way a child plays, while moving through life. I don’t have to feel “stuck” anymore, which previously occurred when I looked back and stuffed down my emotions. During those times, I hurt myself by holding on to a hurtful story. When I did some accounting, I found I had so much to be grateful for – much more grace than any small mistake I or someone else made. The lessons I learned have made me feel content. I am grateful, and I like “blooming where I’m planted.” I've gone through harsh and trying winters, emerging in the spring with more vitality and color. These lovely concepts about life all came about by finding the “Grace of God” and using my whole brain to live abundantly.
In these ways, I have learned how to let my thoughts comfort me. I picture myself in a blanket of love, trusting God that I’ll be in the right spot at the right time, and that my life will be adequate to accomplish that which I’m supposed to accomplish in this life. I can be at peace and accept life as it comes, knowing that I am loved, and God is with me.
Even though I know these concepts, it’s been an act of faith to just keep on walking, skipping and dancing. Sometimes, softening my gaze helped me to see peace rather than focusing so hard on all the details. As author and motivational speaker Vivian Greene once said, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” We just need to go on dancing no matter how we feel or what the circumstances are. Movement is a key ingredient to finding JOY.
My mom is more than 94 years old. She is in the process of selling the store she has operated for more than 55 years. I am grateful for her example, and we help each other walk in Grace. I am thankful I’ve had her by my side for all these years that I’ve been in personal growth training. At her retirement party, she encouraged other local businesses to “keep on keeping on” and “ask God for help.” It's the story of our lives.
This poem from Tahlia Hunter reflects what I have experienced:
Confidence visited me
And it reminded me
To not conceal or suppress my gifts and talents
In order to make others feel more comfortable
But to embrace what makes me me.
I like the quotation from “The Ugly Duckling,” a children's story by Hans Christian Andersen: “Never lose hope, for even the smallest of hearts can find their place in this world.” My heart has been adorned with acceptance, kindness and grace, and I can thank all the difficulties I’ve experienced for providing this wisdom. I’ve found JOY for myself, and I am helping others to find it. I hope my story encourages and inspires you to enjoy lovely, light living in your own personal way.
My Purpose
is to help you have a sense of confidence about your body so that you can pursue your desires in life.